


we'll do that together too

by cassiecasyl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel's Handprint (Supernatural), Character Death, Coda, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Episode: s15e18 Despair, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Self-Sacrifice, The Empty (Supernatural), almost, alternative ending, not really though?, so many feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27441424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiecasyl/pseuds/cassiecasyl
Summary: Dean can't lose Cas again.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 112





	we'll do that together too

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler warning: This is an alternative ending to s15e18 "Despair" so if you haven't watched the episode yet I'd strongly advise against reading this.

“I love you,” he said, truthfully through tears, an end and a new beginning. Happiness was in the existence of those three words, said too little and meaning too much. Now, it was laid bare, plain and simple, without take backs nor deflections.  _ I love you, Dean.  _ Castiel smiled at him, letting the warmth of his love fill him, allowing it to take up space. Behind Dean, a dark portal opened, and he could hear the door giving in. Doom was calling, and they were in its middle with no way to escape. It would be over soon. Dean Winchester would be safe and that would be enough. 

“Don’t do this, Cas,” Dean begged, shattering the defining emotion Castiel had allowed himself to feel. His eyes ripped right through his being, like they had done so many times. The angel reached out in comfort, laying his hand where it perfectly fit on Dean’s shoulder. They were puzzle pieces, and this was their connection. But, as all things do, this had to come to an end. The bond between them had withheld the universe’s forces, had never broken, only frayed around the edges. Now, Cas was the one to burn it down with his love. 

“Don’t, Cas!” Dean’s voice was impossible soft, yet hoarse with tears. They were both crying, and Cas wanted nothing more than to fall into the way Dean’s lips formed his name. “Don’t go! Not like this,” Dean pleaded against the tides of fate and Castiel couldn’t let go. 

He went to push Dean out of the way, but something held him there, right in this spot, with the hunter next to him. He was glued to the frozen time in Dean’s eyes, as if something had decided that right here was where he belonged. Dean laid his hand above his, refreshing the bond, tethering the angel. 

The cold was a sudden, sharp contrast to the warmth he had built up in his heart until it had been overflowing. It engulfed him, starting at his feet, like a ship slowly being flooded by icy water. Then, before it had even risen above his knees, a new strand stabbed into his back, injecting him with hate. He wanted to yank his hand away from Dean before his shoulder grew cold, but he couldn’t move. With horror, he watched as the dark goo wandered down his arm towards Dean, taking its time, treasuring every second of this tormentous parting. Then, it covered Cas’ eyes. 

_ Dean! _ The word was lost on his tongue, swallowed by nothingness. He was trapped in the void once again, with no way of knowing whether Dean was safe. Did he get out? Did he let the Empty get him? He let out a sob, screaming into the Empty’s vacant halls. Why hadn’t he just pushed him away? He had failed. His last act, his whole meaning, and he had failed. 

“Cas?” There was an answer to his inaudible question, from a voice he’d recognize against even if it was whispering against the wind.  _ Dean _ . He was here. His glee was short-lived, however. Why was he here? 

Warm arms wrapped around his cold body, already accustomed to the Empty. It was something alive, so wondrously human and somehow breathing, challenging Castiel’s fate. He shouldn’t be here. Despite the worries, the angel let himself fall into Dean’s arms, letting himself enjoy it just for a moment. 

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Dean sobbed into his hair, “Don’t you ever dare to do this again, you hear me?” His voice was lined with tears, like a blade polished by them, cutting right into Cas, shattering him. “I thought I’d lost you.” The angel attempted to still Dean’s shaking body between his hands, holding him together. 

“I’m here,” he whispered in affirmation, shedding a single tear. Then, he asked: “Why are you here?” He looked up to catch Dean’s gaze through his curtain of tears he so rarely let escape. Dean reciprocated. 

“I’m here ‘cause you are,” he simply stated, voice hoarse and loaded, somehow accusing. Just like that, he uncovered Cas’ fears. Instead of saving him, like he was told to do so long ago, he pulled him down under with him. Chuck had been right. He was useless. 

“I’m sorry,” Castiel whispered. 

“It’s not your fault, Cas,” Dean assured him, voice dropping to a comforting soft bass. They were still in each other’s embrace, so impossibly close, yet it felt natural. Neither of them attempted to move, too exhausted to do so, so they just stayed like that. 

“Listen, feather-brain, you could’ve had this. Me, I mean. Just,” Dean took a deep breath, “why didn’t you say anything earlier? I know I’m dense but I’m here and I- god, I love you, Cas. And I can’t lose you again.” 

They met in-between glistening crystals, gleaming from their love in this dark void. It was warmth and light and everything. A new beginning. Castiel could not recall ever feeling this complete like he felt now with Dean’s lips against his, so desperate and hesitant at the same time. It was the big bang of their love, having been condensed for a decade. It exploded, shying the emptiness away. 

For the first time in forever, Dean had allowed himself to feel, and Cas had followed suit. Castiel planted his hand on his shoulder, sending sparks through Dean’s body, deepening their bond. It hadn’t been burned by his love, Cas now realized, but baked into something new. 

Within the emptiness, with nobody awake but them, an angel kissed his human, speaking of years of longing, of long buried dreams suddenly being resurrected, of the light they produced, of hope. They were together, and that was all that mattered. 

**Author's Note:**

> come cry with me on [tumblr](https://cassiecasyl.tumblr.com)


End file.
